It’s no secret that Amanda Bynes has been publicly falling from grace in the Twittersphere. She was assaulted by a cop who slapped her vagina after she allegedly threw a bong out the window. She wants Drake to murder her vagina, then decides that his eyes make him ugly, but reverts back to her original love claiming that she would love him even if he “Got Parkinson’s Or Got Into Some Sort Of Accident & He Looked Different He’d Still be The Only One I Want.”
Growing up in a gossip-plagued town, I can’t help but obsess over her downfall. It’s not only a train wreck, it’s fascinating to see into the mind of a young star who I grew up idolizing on T.V. So I’ve compiled a list of reason why I love Amanda Bynes.
She believes in plastic surgery. She claims to have been born with a birth defect, some kind of webbing between her eyes, but that is still up for debate. Regardless, she’s had a nose job or two. She live-tweeted (Well as much as she could) about her nose job a few days ago. If plastic surgery will make you feel better about yourself, why the hell not? You go, Amanda.
She suffers from word vomit. She says things she doesn’t mean. She just does it on the internet. She tweeted singer Rihanna, saying, “Chris Brown beat you because you’re not pretty enough. No one wants to be your lover so you call everyone and their mother.” She later deleted the tweets and a few days later called them fake. Someone made them up, but Rihanna’s tweets were not deleted. I mean, we all make mistakes and then we lie about them. She’s only human.
She tweets things that no one else understands. Yesterday she tweeted, “I Want A Million Dollars A Year For Illegally Having My Mind Read And Privacy Stolen.” But you don’t have to get it. She tweets what she feels.
If she doesn’t follow you, it’s because she hates you. At least, that’s what her current Twitter bio stated. Although this statement was recently contradicted when she said, “I’m In Love With Someone Else Who I Do Not Follow On Twitter Who Is The Most Gorgeous Man I Know But Drake Comes In Second.” So she must hate him and love him. Isn’t that what real life is all about?
She sues everybody. At least, she plans to. She is suing every site/magazine that has ever posted a picture she didn’t like because it was pre-nose job or someone photo-shopped it or whatever.She’s suing her parents for spreading lies about her and inevitably trying to help her. The police for assaulting her and slapping her vagina. I wish I could sue everyone who posted a sub tweet or a bad picture of me on Facebook.
She wants to be a rapper. She wants to ditch movies forever and turn to music and music videos. I know what you’re thinking, its Joaquin Phoenix all over again. But, I believe her.