Last week, I hosted a gathering for the Republican Presidential Debate. Sent out a group message—promising politics and beer—had only two attendees, but the party was thrown in true Generation “Y” fashion—with drinking games and Pizza Hut, streaming CNN.
“Drink every time they say “Reagan!”” Which was a lot.
It was a party comprised of an unregistered voter, a Republican based on his parent’s beliefs, and me, a Democrat because that’s what my mother suggested I register as.
The only thing we had in common was our open minds.
So, we watched. Two Trump haters and one defender—but don’t worry, she’s not registered to vote, anyway.
My first thought: Why are they standing in front of a plane? It seemed a little distasteful only a few days after 9/11, but Ronald Reagan’s plane is interesting, I guess.
Rand Paul spoke first, setting the stage. Not only does he like long walks on the beach, but he also “spends [his] days defending the constitution and the bill of rights.” After that, each candidate recited their bios, from what I can only assume were straight from their Tinder profiles.
As a whole, this debate was much more lively than the first. Candidates other than Trump spoke. They argued with one another, and there was even a low-five.
Fiorina made herself heard. Ted Cruz proved to be an idiot. Marco Rubio started from the bottom, now he’s here, and Trump told Bush, “Don’t make things up.”
We learned that Jeb Bush smoked pot in high school and that Carly Fiorina was fired from Hewitt-Packard.
In my opinion, here are the five best things said by the candidates:
1.) “40 years ago, I smoke marijuana, and I admit it. I’m sure that other people have done it and might not want to say it in front of 25 million people. My mom’s not happy that I just did.” Jeb Bush
3.) “Every time we’ve toppled a secular dictator, we’ve gotten chaos, the rise of radical islam, and we’re more at risk. So, I think we need to think before we act, and know that a lot of interventions in the middle east have actually backfired.” Rand Paul
4.) “I agree that English is the unifying language of our country and everyone should learn to speak it. It’s important, but I want to tell you a story about someone that didn’t speak English that well. It was my grandfather. He came to this country in the 1960’s, escaping Cuba and he lived with us growing up. My grandfather loved America. He understood what was so special about this country. He loved Ronald Reagan. He would be very proud of that fact that we’re here this evening. My grandfather instilled in me, the belief that I was blessed to live in the one society in all of human history where even I, the son of a bartender and a maid, could aspire to have anything and be anything that I was willing to work hard to achieve. But he taught me that in Spanish. That was the language he was most comfortable with.
And he became a conservative even thought he got his news in Spanish, so I do give interviews in Spanish and here’s why:
Because I believe that free enterprise and limited government is the best way to help people who are trying to achieve upward mobility. And if they get their news in Spanish, I want them to hear it directly from me. Not from a translator at Univision.” Marco Rubio
5.) “I think we are, in fact the A-Team. We have some remarkable people. Not only are we the A-Team, we have our own Mr. T[rump] who doesn’t mind saying about others, “You’re a fool.” Mike Huckabee
And, the five worst things said at the debate:
1.) “I don’t speak English very well, but look how far I’ve gotten.” Lindsey Graham
2.) “I think I have great temperament.” Donald Trump
3.) “Autism has become an epidemic. 25 years ago, look at the statistics. It has gotten out of control. I am totally in favor of vaccines, but I want smaller doses over a longer period of time. I’ve seen it. Kids 2 years old, went in for vaccines, and a week later had a high fever, got very very sick, and is now, autistic.” Donald Trump.
4.) “[Hillary Clinton] believes in the systematic murder of children in the womb to preserve their body parts in a way that maximizes their value for sale and for profit. It is disgusting.” Chris Christie.
5.) “I would get along, I think, with Putin.” Donald Trump